Burning Ones

So Timmy won’t be able to blog today because he’ll be at a Java convention (aka nerd convention, haha) with a coworker until late tonight. So due to that, and the fact that I didn’t really give a general update on Sunday, I’m stealing his day.

Sunday was Timmy’s birthday (he’s 22, but still doesn’t feel any older) so we celebrated and bought him nice clip-ins pedals and shoes for his bike with a gift certificate from my parents (thanks, mom and dad!).

On Saturday we saw Bella, which is definitely a movie worth seeing and supporting. You can see the trailer here. It reminded me of my passion for adopting an to-be aborted child.. and thus I spent a good two or three days after seeing it fantasizing about meeting people in malls, whilst telling their best friends they’re going to get “it” taken care of, and hero-me, stepping in. Haha. Whatever.

I don’t know if “foggy” is a valid feeling, but for awhile I’ve been feeling foggy. Like, stuck almost, like an on-going tiredness that I can’t seem to shake. I couldn’t really set my mind to do anything and I felt all-around sluggish, but like more spiritual than physical. Like a mini-curse, haha. So I’ve been scattered brained.

Although these past two days have been wonderful and God must have lifted the fog off. So I don’t really know what’s going on right now. I had a dream awhile ago where Tim and I were in Hawaii and there was this huge wave coming and we were hedged in all around (with actual hedges). And the waves kept pounding us and overtaking us and I’d fall and stuff, but get back up. I wasn’t really sure what the dream meant but then I was having an awesome worship time today and I was worshipping with Hosea 6:1-3, which I am so in love with right now. And I just felt like God was saying that He was the raging ocean and He put the hedges up.. like in Psalms 139 where it says “You hedge me in, behind and before, You lay your hand upon me.”

I just love the imagery of God tripping me in order to hold me… except Hosea uses a little more “hardcore” imagery and instead of tripping its tearing (ouch) but I still love it. It MUST happen in order that “we may live before Him.” And then the immediate verse is, “Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord!” Ugh, it’s just wonderful.

I’ve been consumed lately with trying to figure out how to love. I seem do to an absolutely, horrible job every time I try. So, if any of y’all have any pointers just let me know :-). I thought that maybe my “fogginess” could be connected with this anger that I’ve been struggling with. It’s like, sometimes in my dreams I get really mad at someone, and I start swinging at them, trying to hit them, and I keep falling asleep as I’m trying to get a good whack in and I end up tripping over myself and falling into the ground. I think that’s God saying that when I get angry, I turn blind, which would explain the cloudiness… but who knows :-).