Comments on: Philia Friendship http://burningones.com/2008/06/06/philia-friendship/ The minds of Burning Hearts. Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:33:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Lyndsey Pie http://burningones.com/2008/06/06/philia-friendship/#comment-43 Lyndsey Pie Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:46:06 +0000 http://burningones.com/?p=236#comment-43 well actually it's funny that you mention the subway seats, because in Australia it's the same way. However, no one talked to each other, except if it was a group of people who already knew each other. I found that most people on the tram used that time to read, and listen to their ipods. Well, at least the system TRIES to get them to talk, right? well actually it’s funny that you mention the subway seats, because in Australia it’s the same way. However, no one talked to each other, except if it was a group of people who already knew each other. I found that most people on the tram used that time to read, and listen to their ipods. Well, at least the system TRIES to get them to talk, right?

]]> By: jessie http://burningones.com/2008/06/06/philia-friendship/#comment-41 jessie Tue, 17 Jun 2008 14:51:02 +0000 http://burningones.com/?p=236#comment-41 Could not agree with you more. I feel very much like America is a country where we're all "doing our own thing" and so please don't interrupt me. I was surprised when I heard that a lot of the public transportation systems in Europe have seats that actually <i>face</i> each other... like to encourage people to talk. I wish we were more like that. Or rather I was more like that. I'll let you know if I ever figure it out, but unfortunately it seems like the type of thing where only a really old wise person would know. So ask me in a few decades :-) Loved your thoughts btw! Could not agree with you more. I feel very much like America is a country where we’re all “doing our own thing” and so please don’t interrupt me. I was surprised when I heard that a lot of the public transportation systems in Europe have seats that actually face each other… like to encourage people to talk. I wish we were more like that. Or rather I was more like that.

I’ll let you know if I ever figure it out, but unfortunately it seems like the type of thing where only a really old wise person would know. So ask me in a few decades :-)

Loved your thoughts btw!

]]> By: Lyndsey Pie http://burningones.com/2008/06/06/philia-friendship/#comment-40 Lyndsey Pie Mon, 09 Jun 2008 20:33:11 +0000 http://burningones.com/?p=236#comment-40 I do agree, though I think more often than not, those goals or visions are not fleshed out or unsaid altogether, which makes it hard. When I think of my friends, I tend to put them in groups- my frisbee team, my a capella group, my jazz band, etc. I think each group as a whole is running together towards a goal (playing awesome music, singing tight harmonies, getting better at frisbee, etc). However, it's those intense one on one relationships you speak of that are less common in our American society. I learned about this at a diversity conference once... they said that Americans are very friendly, but we have several layers to our friendships. You can smile at just about anyone, meet them once and then say hi in passing, perhaps small talk at a party, then become facebook friends, maybe get their number and hang out, and several layers later they may become your "friend" rather than acquaintence. Other cultures have less layers, but it is harder to get through each one. However, once you do, you are friends for life, and I imagine that those are the types of friendships you speak of. I'm not sure if those cultures are aware of the common goals they share, but it seems to me like they might be... I'm not sure if I've ever had a philla friendship before, except for maybe Joe, but it may have been more one sided than I thought, and he's graduated now so it will be hard to maintain such an intense friendship over distance... I would like to get better at those friendships, so if you figure out how it can be done, let me know! <3 pie ps sorry for blabbing, but that post really got me thinking!! I do agree, though I think more often than not, those goals or visions are not fleshed out or unsaid altogether, which makes it hard. When I think of my friends, I tend to put them in groups- my frisbee team, my a capella group, my jazz band, etc. I think each group as a whole is running together towards a goal (playing awesome music, singing tight harmonies, getting better at frisbee, etc). However, it’s those intense one on one relationships you speak of that are less common in our American society.

I learned about this at a diversity conference once… they said that Americans are very friendly, but we have several layers to our friendships. You can smile at just about anyone, meet them once and then say hi in passing, perhaps small talk at a party, then become facebook friends, maybe get their number and hang out, and several layers later they may become your “friend” rather than acquaintence. Other cultures have less layers, but it is harder to get through each one. However, once you do, you are friends for life, and I imagine that those are the types of friendships you speak of. I’m not sure if those cultures are aware of the common goals they share, but it seems to me like they might be…

I’m not sure if I’ve ever had a philla friendship before, except for maybe Joe, but it may have been more one sided than I thought, and he’s graduated now so it will be hard to maintain such an intense friendship over distance… I would like to get better at those friendships, so if you figure out how it can be done, let me know!

<3 pie

ps sorry for blabbing, but that post really got me thinking!!

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