Burning Ones

So on Friday at 4AM we are leaving for Chicago- yay! Tim’s uncle’s family lives out there and their youngest daughter is in Bye Bye Birdie so we’re going to go see one of the performances. I LOVE going out there… one of the reasons being the 12 hour car trip (in all seriousness). I checked the weather and today tomorrow’s gonna be like a high of 12.. which.. is cold. We’ll be getting back sometime on Monday.

I’m all for this raise in the gas tax.  Anything that will make the cost of transportation via gas powered vehicles too hard to bear in this country is a good thing.  It will force our country to reassess how it faces life.  If we can’t even afford to all drive our SUVs and Minivans and cars alone, how could we remain so ruggedly individualistic.  The country needs this.

Well, maybe that’s extreme…  Oh well :)

So the holidays are over, and it’s 2008. Pray for the elections!

Ok, so, honestly, I know I’m not fat. I have, however, gained weight. And for some odd reason it’s only in my tummy area (or at least what I can tell). And even though I entertain the thought from time to time that I’m pregnant, I know it’s not true, and I really am just plain over weight. I didn’t think I was gaining weight until my family decided to make little comments here and there: “Jess, you’re gaining weight,” “… when you get health insurance you should go get your cholesterol checked- it’ll probably be high,” “doesn’t eating that cause you gain more weight?”

So because of all this and the constant eyeing of my tummy I had to ask my family to stop making comments about it because of how upset I was getting. I’ve realized how much power I let my family have over me. Now, whenever I’m somewhere I instinctively fold my arms across my stomach or I make sure to pull out my shirt when i sit down. Ugh, it’s horrible. I hate looking over weight because I feel like my parents have a reason to call me lazy. I mean, not that I agree, but outside of physical problems I really don’t think its biblical to be beyond a healthy weight limit. So now I’m struggling with the thought of exercising. If I exercise tomorrow morning it will be with the intent of proving something to my family. But I still think it’ll be good to exercise and its a real crappy idea not to. Ugh, oh, well. I’m probably going to learn (or am learning) some valuable lesson from God and maybe when I come out of it my family will have less power over me :-).

This would explain the dream that I had where I had on a beautiful red dress and my mom walks by and says, “that looks tacky.” So I hid under the covers all night so no one would see me.

BBC NEWS | Business | US energy law comes a step closer

Not to remain ever gloomy, I’d like to draw everyone’s attention to this.  While I’ve been somewhat harsh on the U.S. lately, I think this is pretty darn cool.  Not that it will help improve the mpg of my old clunking Nissan.  :(

I can’t really describe how much I want this thing. Waaaay too much. :)

I had a dream a few nights ago where a woman was lecturing me about the wonderful and simplistic tool of writing. That something that costs virtually nothing could be so illuminating.

So I’m taking this as a cue from God to write. I cannot tell you how many times I have had a passion for writing (usually inspired by some good book) and although I might fill the first couple of pages, the passion trickles out of reach and I’m left with an almost-empty journal, entries weeks apart, ridden with guilt. So maybe because this is God-inspired and not me-inspired (although I certainly have a lot to do with it) I’ll write as much as I honestly want to.

So from now on I want to give abridged updates with a few excerpts from my journal. I know this may sound narcissistic, but when I write something I like, I really, really like it. And of course that may very well lead to pride, but that’s just something I’ll have to deal with. I’ve been learning a new word each day thanks to Shrook and dictionary.com, haha. My favorite word this past week has been “postprandial” meaning, after a meal.. like a postprandial nap.

I was wrong. The feeling didn’t leave me. Shows you how much I worry about it :-). I think it’ll always be here. Tim feels really discouraged right now. He says it’s not me its that he feels like he’s pulled in a thousand directions (work, school, ministry, his family, my family, our family, etc.) and he feels called to every one of them but can’t seem to manage all of them. Please pray for him if you get the chance.

I just finished the fourth book in Dune. Dune has become my favorite series. It has well surpassed Lord of the Rings and every other book (except for the Bible). I found God in Dune.

**

It’s raining right now.
Water meeting leaf.
The sound of a thousand leaves clapping.
Clapping for who, you ask?
Why, they’re clapping for God.
For all creation gives You praise.

**

I feel like my thoughts are like bubbles, never ceasing to float about my head. Some float upwards, but most just wander. I would like my bubbles to float upwards. Then the good Lord can pop them as He pleases.

For some reason I can’t stop thinking about that little girl in India who was born with four arms and four legs. You can read about it here. I mean, I don’t know if its more heart-breaking, more fascinating, or more horrifying.

They named her Lakshmi because it’s believed she’s a reincarnation of the Hindu goddess of wealth, who also has four arms and four legs. And I guess what bothers me the most about this is the coincidence that a little girl was born looking like a worshipped god. Her parents said that they had to hide her when she was little because the circus wanted to buy her. I mean, yeah, we know why it scientifically happened, but it’s just one of those things that you ask, “could this be spiritual?” Why is a deformed child revered as a god?

Thankfully, it seems like the surgery and recovery process is going well. I can’t imagine what her life will look like. Will people treat her and her parents with contempt because they marred a goddess? Will they still look to her as a reincarnation? Will she marry? The whole thing makes me very sad.

And then someone had the nerve to say in a comment on a news feed: “This is why I will always be for abortion.”

So, after hearing Timmy rant and rave about a news reader (as in like, RSS feeds), I finally succumbed to an application called Shrook. So now I will happily be spending less time on the internet and receiving news feeds from various blogs, facebook, and forums (sadly, that’s all I do online).

I’ve finally narrowed my top five favorite movies in order (trilogies count as one movie). I have to admit, I feel somewhat *unholy* posting this after Tim’s awesome news.. but that’s condemnation, not conviction.

1. V for Vendetta
2. Lord of the Rings Extended Edition Trilogy
3. Stranger Than Fiction
4. A Good Year
5. Hackers

Nb: #3-5 might change in order, but I think those three are permanent. Anyone care to list their top five?