Posts tagged with ‘God’
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The Internet and Facebook
I run to the computer. If I’m stressed, angry, depressed, bored it’s to the computer I go. To check my email (again, and again, and again), mindlessly go on Facebook, read look at my feeds, or go on Mothering forums.
Some people run to their TV, others run to people, others text. A few run to Christ when they’re stressed and I long for that to be true for me.
I always thought that the internet was stopping me from running to Christ. Take away the internet and I’d be free. But the more and more cold-turkey trials I do, or the more that I think about it, it really just boils down to a heart issue. If it wasn’t the internet it’d be something else. If I lived in the 18th century it’d be knitting, or cleaning or something else that is less addicting than Facebook. It’s all the same, even with the Israelites. They ran to actual “physical” gods while I run to cyber space (which I suppose is a god too).
So now that I’ve determined my problem (a.k.a. my heart) what do I do about things like the internet and Facebook? Do I tear out my right eye? But if it’s a heart problem I can’t remove everything. Do I keep them because of their usefulness? But, really, how useful is Facebook? What, I can comment on pictures of people that I already know? To keep in contact with people that I really don’t care about anyway? I can spy on people’s more flamboyant sins by looking at their photos? Sigh.
I’ve removed TV from my life and I have to say that I’ve never once, ever, ever regretted it. I don’t need to be able to chat with people about what happened in the latest Lost episode in order to love them. Is Facebook different? Is the internet different?
I guess the real question has to do with time. I spend SO much time on the computer. Is a shallow relationship with God really worth my name on Facebook?
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I want it to be rich
On Sunday we went to see our friend’s babies get dedicated (three babies all with the same set of grandparents!). The preacher at their church is an older man (80s?) and has been saved for a long time. What hit me so much was not really the message that he gave but how rich his relationship with God was (or is rather).
It pains me how much of that I lack. I know I’m making progress. In fact, I could not be happier with my progress (by God’s grace). I feel constantly stretched and tried and it feels good, even if I don’t respond well to the trying.
I don’t know what a rich relationship with Jesus looks like. I think a key to experiencing that is getting into the Bible more. I have a daily reading plan but I don’t feel like I’m “eating the scroll.” I feel like I need to be meditating on Scripture (a.k.a memorizing, but not mindlessly). If Jesus IS the actual Word than I feel like an idiot for not doing it sooner because how obvious is that?!
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The Terrible Love of God
From January 29, 2009 @ 7:55 am
Oh, that we might worship the terrible wonder of the love of God! It is not sentimental. It is not simple. For our sake God did the impossible: He poured out his wrath on his own son—the one whose submission made him infinitely unworthy to receive it. Yet the Son’s very willingness to receive it was precious in God’s sight. The wrath-bearer was infinitely loved.
- John Piper – The Passion of Jesus Christ
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It’s been CRAZY!
I had no idea moving would be this insane! Almost all of stuff is moved in and so far the only thing that is really left undone is the living room (pictures will be coming soon!)
We sadly do not have the internet so right now I’m doing laundry at my parent’s and trying to do a few updates while I’m here.
In the past week we’ve slept at three different houses and have had a dog to watch. We took him home on Monday and although its more lonely without him and I did enjoy having him around, I can get more unpacking done.
I cannot tell you how wonderful God has been through all of this. Everything seems to be working out perfectly. Yesterday we were given an over-sized leather Lazyboy recliner (looked brand new) that fits perfectly into our living room and there’s a rumor that we might be given a really, really nice sound system with a DVD and VCR player. All of our furniture seems to be fitting “just right” with inches to spare and any fear that I had about living in Norristown in completely gone. I could not love living in our apartment any more.
So hopefully by the end of the week we’ll be all situated. Yesterday was our anniversary (two years!) and it was nice to spend in the new apartment. We’ve been taking pictures along the way but sadly our camera battery charger is still in the muck somewhere :-).
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YAY!!!!!
From November 05, 2007 @ 11:01 pm
Crazy week! It’s been like a roller coaster and I’m loving every minute of it (although we’ll see what I say when it’s a ‘down’ moment, hehe).
I’ve been feeling for awhile that the thing that what God wants me doing right now is simply “doing everything for Him.” So I have no idea what that means.
Like a week ago I was really, really mad at myself because I had screwed up (again) so I was going to punish myself by watching TV until sunrise. So after I was all TV’ed out and even more upset (and really hungry) I said ‘hell with it’ and decided I was going to go to the kitchen, in the dark, and eat a banana. For God.
So with every step on the cold, dark floor towards the kitchen I kept saying to myself, “I’m doing this for You. I will walk excellently for You.” And as I peeled the banana and began to eat it I tried to really absorb the taste and texture. And sometimes I like splitting the banana into three (because it naturally does this, which I think is kinda cool) so I thought about the trinity a bit. And I wasn’t perfect at it at all, in fact I think I scoffed the remaining half of the banana down because this whole process was very awkward and I just wanted to be done with it :-).
I felt God just being like “alright, Jess, time for bed” so I went to sleep at the point (I think it was like 6:15 or something). And it wasn’t like I immediately felt the Shekina glory of God, or fell over because I was so moved by the spirit. I still felt awful, my face still sore from crying, I could still taste the tears in my throat, and I could still feel my face cracking from the dried salt deposits, but in some strange way I felt at peace. And I felt loved.
So I’ve been trying to do that more. Mainly its small things like eating breakfast or making the bed but it’s weird, even awesome, because now every time I think of my bed or pancakes I think of God. And I think of that experience with God and I almost (not quite, haha) look forward to making the bed in a small way, or especially making pancakes (opposed to something like cereal) because I never make pancakes… but since I kind of first did that with God it’s like a me-and-God-thing. Pancakes, hehe.
And, oh my gosh, I cannot tell you how crazy wonderful my life has been these past couple of days. And even though everything seems to be getting worse (I’m assuming they’re attacks) like Tim and I were up until 1 fighting or my pride has somehow enormously exploded because of all this, it’s wonderful. It’s all wonderful. I feel as though I can find God wherever I want to look for Him.
And since then I can like, feel Him… like, that sense of that ever-present feeling of God has become SO much stronger. I mean like mind-blowing stronger. I can feel Him next to me, and inside of me, all at the same time. And He talks to me. A lot. Like all the time. All I have to do is talk and He talks back. And He’s funny!
And, gosh, I used to worry that this was all me and it was me talking (‘cause it is my voice saying the stuff in my head) but I know it’s like Other. This is absolutely everything I’ve ever wanted and I hope it’s only going to get better… and at the same time I’m terrified that God will remove Himself and I’ll have a Song of Solomon 5 experience and I REALLY don’t want that. And then the pride comes because only really ‘holy’ people have Song of Solomon 5 experiences, and I know that’s not true.
So everything is super crazy right now and I don’t know what’s going on. But I am in absolute love with it.
